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June edition - The Quibbler!

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June 15th, 2007


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ate_luna
08:43 pm - June edition




The Truth Behind...
...magical and muggle bonding objects and spells


For centuries, man and muggle have used these seemingly harmless objects and spells without really knowing the message behind them. It is no surprise to our readers, I am sure, surely not to the readers of this serialized article, that magical and muggle governments implant subliminal messages in every comment object we use.

This month we examine the subliminal messages behind the everyday objects and spells we use to attach parchments together.


First is the innocent parchment clip. This item is simply a long metal wire bent into the shape you see in the picture above. To use it, Muggles bend the middle oval out and place the parchment between it, then bend the oval back into place. The message behind this simple item clearly shows that support that is provided by something easily bent can as easily be lost or removed. This message was instilled to try to deter people who wished to bend rules for their own benefits.


Now we have the parchment clamp. This is a triangular tube of metal with one of the sides open and two bent wire handles attached to this edge. This object is more difficult to bend open and when it is closed again, it holds much more securely than the parchment clip. This shows very craftily that even those rules that are harder to bend can still be removed, no matter how secure they may feel once you've put your foot through the loop-hole.


Next we have the simple staple. This is simply a short, thin wire that is pierced through the parchment and bent around into a hug. It is far more secure than either the clip or the clamp and requires the aide of a machine. Though the significance of this might seem violent to any unlearned conspiracy-hunter, this object was made by a pacifist and shows its message in the shape of the used staple. In order for there to be a firm and secure bond, we must embrace each other. Only a bond formed in love can be strong.


Now we have an item which is recognizeable in the wizarding and muggle world. In muggle society it is called Sellotape, whereas our product, though similar yet magically modified, is called Spellotape. As spellotape can only hold two parchments together at a time, it hints toward a conspiracy we have long believed existed to match pure blood with pure and mixed blood with mixed, thus maintaining the pure-bloods' lines. It is a secret conspiracy, indicated by the transparent quality of the tape.


Glue is a potion-like substance that muggles use as a bonding agent. As glue is almost impossible for muggles to remove, it explains that effects done by potions are more difficult to remove than effects done by spells.

And lastly is the bonding spell. Though there are several different spells, the meaning is the same. Words have a strong effect. The stronger the words, the harder they are to undo.

Come back next month for another issue of The Truth Behind...

Your conspiracy-hunter
*v* Velda Magrasse
Current Mood: thoughtfulsuspicious

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