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Quibbler July 1999 issue - The Quibbler!

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July 3rd, 2007


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ate_luna
10:56 pm - Quibbler July 1999 issue


We’re Bringing The Truth To You


A Conspiracy Ago in History


Much of the wizarding world is familiar with the common house-hold item spell-o tape, a topical bonding agent ideal for temporary repair of magical items. What is little-known is its bloody and tragic past.

In 1976, Cassidy Spellman took her studies of the Muggle world to her secret laboratory under her Sussex house, where she had until then been unsuccessful in her ability to invent anything of value. However, her recent sortie to the Muggle markets struck inspiration into her waiting mind. A Muggle invention known as Sellotape caught her eye and she immediately bought a case.

For months and months she worked tirelessly in her basement laboratory until she had created the thaumaturgic bonding agent we know today as Spell-O-Tape. She was extremely secretive about her invention, only speaking of it with her closest friends. One such friend had been working as a parchment pusher at a magic-goods manufacturer (Quillan Inc.) for seven years without promotion, and upon hearing of and seeing the idea his friend Spellman had invented, he discovered the opportunity to finally advance in his field.

Four months later, Ms. Spellman’s invention appeared on the shelves before her very eyes under the name Spell-O-Tape. Upon seeing the brand name on the back of the package and realizing the actions of her friend, she took her case to the Wizengamot.

However, without a patent of her own and no witness to testify on her behalf, Spellman lost the case and several hundred galleons in a return lawsuit, claiming she had tried to use her friend as an inside informant, in which her friend testified against her.

In a fit of loss and despair, Ms. Cassidy Spellman, brain mother to Spell-O-Tape, transfigured her heart into cauliflower and died in her basement laboratory, where she was found two weeks later.

It should be noted that the backstabbing friend of Ms. Spellman was sacked several years later for trying to sell Quillan Inc’s secrets to a rival magic-goods manufacturer. This Quibbler reporter likes to believe it was what the Muggles call karma.

Minofa Bomschneiger

Classifieds


HOUSE FOR LET
ROOM/BED-SHARE
NIGHT-SLEEPER LOOKING FOR DAY-SLEEPER
MUST FIT SHORT MATRESS
DAILY SHOWER A MUST
30 GAL/MO

ROOM AVAILABLE
EX-MORGUE STUDIO IN QUAINT HOUSE
CHEERFUL, SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT
CASKET-MOTIF IDEAL FOR VAMPIRES
45 G/MO

TIMESHARE
AMER WIZ FAM TO SHARE
FORMER B&B W/ RESPONSIBLE TENNANT
SPACE AVAIL JULY-NOV/JAN-MAY
MUST CARE FOR PET OCCAMY
80G/MO

LAKE VIEW ROOM
HOUSEBOUND Q READER SEEKS
QUIET, FRIENDLY TENNANT
40 GAL/M + WEEKLY ERRANDS

Current Mood: busyinformative

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